Day 8: Honesty. A little goes a long way.

Snow-Shoeing trip. 3 days. 18 miles. 50 pounds of gear. 6 friends. It will make you miss some days for your January-Blog-A-Thon. Just saying.

Now that we got that out of the way (I really was doing stuff….just not blogging). I’ve  had this blog in my head for a while. It’s been with some cob-webs and my inner-most thoughts for some time, so here’s to hoping that it comes across as eloquently as it sounds…yup, you guessed it, from within my head.

I used to fear honesty. I craved (still do) the desire to be accepted, liked, wanted, and valued. Don’t we all?  To me, honesty was an obstacle to these things. You didn’t dare tell a “friend” that she had spinach in her teeth or her shoes didn’t match her skirt or that you really couldn’t afford happy hour. As an adult, you never told your boss that the creative concept she loved was going to be a really bad business decision, the new operation was process was so inefficient she might as well burn her budget immediately, or that we really were wasting tons of money on ______ (fill in the blank). Honesty would get you fired from friends and your job. Perhaps, I’ve had some crappy managers (which is no lie) but the environment(s) I’ve lived in and experienced hasn’t always been the safest place for honesty, regardless of what people said.

Say what you think, not what you think you should say

I’ve come to realize that honesty is a value that is not so prominent in today’s society as one would think and or hope. Perhaps it’s my aversion to bull-shit, politics, bureaucratic systems, brown-nosers, and passive-aggressive folks, but the lack of honesty has given me an auto-matic gag reflex. That and I’ve grown a spine. I’ve seen how “un-safe” environments hurt people, relationships, and businesses, with lasting impact. And I decided I no longer wanted to be a part of that. I don’t want to be an enabler. I don’t believe in those values and most certainly don’t carry them in my personal life so why should I in my professional life?

It’s taken some time but I’m now one of those people who will tell you:

– You have spinach in your teeth.
– A booger in your right nostril….no, the other right nostril. Do you want me to point?
– That a manager will make or break your job for you, no matter how awesome your dream job is.
– Make sure you like the people you work with or it’s not worth it…not matter how awesome your job is.
– Don’t waste your time on people who won’t invest in you.
– Your shoes don’t match that skirt, no matter how adorable they are separately.
– You have a fabulous new bag and I love it!
– Everyone needs to get a Kindle…regardless of if you’re an Apple geek.
– You need sunscreen….no really, you need sunscreen.
– If you don’t feed me, I’m going to be hangry.
– Is it okay if we pull over? I really need to pee.
– You have an eye-lash on your cheek. Here, let me grab it for you.
– Ummmm, your button is unbuttoned.
– Your zipper is unzipped.
– Yeah you gained some weight but you look fabulous. No, you don’t need to lose it! Flaunt it!
– Everyone needs color in their life, especially their wardrobe.
– What you see now in your relationship will only become more prominent in your marriage. Don’t settle.

telling the truth and making someone ry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.

Granted, my good friends will tell you that “tact” is definitely an area I’m working on. But the one thing that I’ve heard time and time again is that people appreciate my honesty. I’m not going to sugar-coat anything. I’ll give you honest thoughts, ask some good questions, and challenge you, because I hope you’ll do the same for me.  I hope that the relationships I have are strong enough to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to hurt one another. Honesty is there to build each other up, strengthen each other, and encourage one another.  Without it, how will the world carry on? On a giant facade? Yeah….I didn’t think so.

Day 1: Surviving your spouse on an international trip
Day 2: Never order flowers online
Day 3: Bucket List
Day 4: Pet Peeves
Day 5: Biggest Fear
Day 9:  Made with love…..

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Because January can be boring. Join us for a January Blog-A-Thon. Post a photo, video, sentence, anything that you want to! And if don’t feel inclined to blog, do come back and see what we’re up to. I can guarantee you’ll be entertained.

4 Comments

  1. This is JUST what I needed to read. I must confess, I’m one of those “people pleasers” who often times says what I need to say to make everyone feel comfortable and happy. This post has inspired me to be more of a straight shooter. Easier said than done…but I think I’m going to write that Paulo Coelho quote down somewhere and hang it where I see it all the time. 🙂

    (Although I will ALWAYS tell someone if they have spinach in their teeth. Not saying anything is like, a cardinal sin or something, right?)

  2. This is JUST what I needed to read. I must confess, I’m one of those “people pleasers” who often times says what I need to say to make everyone feel comfortable and happy. This post has inspired me to be more of a straight shooter. Easier said than done…but I think I’m going to write that Paulo Coelho quote down somewhere and hang it where I see it all the time. 🙂

    (Although I will ALWAYS tell someone if they have spinach in their teeth. Not saying anything is like, a cardinal sin or something, right?)

  3. You might have guessed it… I’ve never had a problem with honesty. It’s actually my social downfall… too honest, too fast. I feel like I’ve matured some since a teenager… I don’t care to tell people if they’ve got sleep in their eye because ehhh, doesn’t bother me much.

    I’m so glad you’re one of these people, friend. Come on over to the dark side of honesty… I mean, the more confident-less-do-things-just-to-please-others side. It’s quite liberating over here.

  4. You might have guessed it… I’ve never had a problem with honesty. It’s actually my social downfall… too honest, too fast. I feel like I’ve matured some since a teenager… I don’t care to tell people if they’ve got sleep in their eye because ehhh, doesn’t bother me much.

    I’m so glad you’re one of these people, friend. Come on over to the dark side of honesty… I mean, the more confident-less-do-things-just-to-please-others side. It’s quite liberating over here.

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